Melancholy at Christmas

A Jumble of Emotions

How can one season bring such a palpable jumble of emotions? Happy and sad, joy and sorrow. Celebration and melancholy. Merry crowds and lonely souls. Family gatherings with missing members.

There are hopeful plans and unmet expectations. Reality is not always a Norman Rockwell or Thomas Kincade painting, or a Hallmark movie (but even those have their ups and downs). And remember, events didn’t even go perfectly for Mary and Joseph on that first Christmas, but God had a bigger plan.

Every year about this time, I begin to vacillate between feeling wistful, like Charlie Brown, and gladsome, like his wise friend Linus. I have every reason under the sun to be happy, and I know the true meaning of Christmas, but for some reason a melancholy spirit occasionally comes over me. Raise your hand if Charles and I resonate with you.

I rejoice in the birth of Jesus, my Savior and Lord. Every time I read Luke chapter two, I’m transported to the little town of Bethlehem, savoring the words of the angel, running with the shepherds to worship the newborn King, and pondering the mysterious miracle with Mary. There would literally be no Christmas without Jesus. For any of it to make sense or have meaning, He must be the focus.

Luke 2:10-11, “But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.”

For the most part, Christmas truly is a wonderful time of the year. The season is marked with traditions that bring out the kid in me. I love driving around the neighborhood in search of twinkling lights. I enjoy opening bins of keepsake ornaments and reflecting on the memories that each one holds. The festively wrapped gifts laid beneath the branches evoke a bit of curiosity and surprise. The smell of cookies and cakes fill the kitchen, and I usually bake way more goodies than we can possibly eat. Nativities complete with wise men and donkeys serve as reminders of God’s love throughout our home. Since the season goes by much too quickly, I often begin listening to Christmas music at the end of October. Carols set the tone with proclamations of the Savior’s birth and visions of sleigh rides through freshly fallen snow (this sounds amazing since it’s often 80 degrees in Southern California).

The season is full of delightful sights, sounds, aromas, and flavors which evoke feelings of joy, but if I’m honest, it can also bring a bit of melancholy angst. I find myself singing carols and dancing one minute and tearfully contemplating the next. No matter what we’re feeling, God fully understands. That’s for certain!

Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Unexpected emotions are prompted by hardships of various kinds, disappointments, losses, changes, diagnoses, deaths, and the distance created by moves to new towns. Expectations and plans adapt, but fond memories will always have a secure place in our hearts.

And we never know when these feelings will pop up! So have a tissue handy.

Here are some of the memories that make my eyes misty:

When my sons were little. My own sweet childhood. Simplicity of days gone by.

Decorating the tree with my grandma (Dad’s mom) and throwing on loads of tinsel. One of her ornaments is now a treasured keepsake for me. (pictured below)

Making snowball cookies and talking about Jesus with my other grandma (Mom’s mom). She is talking with Him now.

My grandpa (Dad’s side) magically making candy bars appear from my ears.

My grandpa (Mom’s side) who is still healthy at 97 years old, saying grace as we all held hands before meals.

These are just a few; there are many more memories and other loved ones who have passed away (one very recently). And I miss them all deeply.

All I can say is that I am thankful for the hope and promise of Heaven. (And for my storehouse of treasured memories where joy and sorrow meet.) In Heaven it will always be like Christmas in its purest, most magnificent form. The celebration will be never-ending, and loved ones will be there too!

Jesus came down at Christmas to make Heaven accessible to you and me!

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18, “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. ¹⁷ After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. ¹⁸ Therefore encourage one another with these words.”

Revelation 21:3-5, “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ ⁵ He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’ Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

I’d love to hear from you. Share your response in the comments:

· What joyful memories come to mind for you?

· Do you ever feel like Charlie Brown?

· Who do you look forward to celebrating with in Heaven?